Oops.
So I created these great, detailed fantastic goals for Mandarin learning when I moved to Taiwan.
That I utterly failed to achieve.
Time to tuck & roll.
I felt altogether defeated when I reached the end of my 3-week Mandarin challenge. I had specific goals that I had shared oh-so-publicly, and felt like I had learned practically nothing by the end of it, despite studying 2-3 hours per day. I wallowed for a day or so, then pulled up my original goals to carefully go through them and see what went wrong.
And boy was I surprised.
I had completed 70% of the goals I originally set for myself.
WHAT?!? But… but… I suck at Chinese! I hardly learned anything! 70% is not that bad!?!
Had I not taken the time to look carefully at my previous goals again, I would have continued feeling like a failure. Instead, I recovered from my wallow, and jumped back into Chinese learning.
Only to stumble and fail again immediately, and rather more spectacularly.
I accomplished only 40% of my original 10-week goals. I studied 2-3 hours per day for the first month, but only about 1 hour per day for the 2nd month, and I stopped studying completely the final 2-3 weeks.
So… what happened? And why don’t I feel like a failure?
Well, first of all, I’m not going to lie… I am disappointed in the results, and part of me does feel like I failed. Most of me, though, is happy with what I accomplished and how hard I worked and what I did learn. I set my goals extremely high, hoping they would push me to accomplish something meaningful, and it worked.
Finally, what lessons can I take from this?
So I created these great, detailed fantastic goals for Mandarin learning when I moved to Taiwan.
That I utterly failed to achieve.
Time to tuck & roll.
I felt altogether defeated when I reached the end of my 3-week Mandarin challenge. I had specific goals that I had shared oh-so-publicly, and felt like I had learned practically nothing by the end of it, despite studying 2-3 hours per day. I wallowed for a day or so, then pulled up my original goals to carefully go through them and see what went wrong.
And boy was I surprised.
I had completed 70% of the goals I originally set for myself.
WHAT?!? But… but… I suck at Chinese! I hardly learned anything! 70% is not that bad!?!
Had I not taken the time to look carefully at my previous goals again, I would have continued feeling like a failure. Instead, I recovered from my wallow, and jumped back into Chinese learning.
Only to stumble and fail again immediately, and rather more spectacularly.
I accomplished only 40% of my original 10-week goals. I studied 2-3 hours per day for the first month, but only about 1 hour per day for the 2nd month, and I stopped studying completely the final 2-3 weeks.
So… what happened? And why don’t I feel like a failure?
Well, first of all, I’m not going to lie… I am disappointed in the results, and part of me does feel like I failed. Most of me, though, is happy with what I accomplished and how hard I worked and what I did learn. I set my goals extremely high, hoping they would push me to accomplish something meaningful, and it worked.
Finally, what lessons can I take from this?
Lesson 1) Diversify Your Goals
My original goals included milestones for Chinese speaking, Chinese reading and Taiwanese culture. One main reason I ended up succeeding on as much as I did was because I included the cultural goals. I recognized in setting up my goals in the first place that acclimating and learning about my surroundings was an important underpinning to successful language learning.
And this focus paid off. Even during the times late in my mission when I spent no dedicated study time, I continued learning and using the knowledge that I had already gained, especially around my Taiwanese friends and with respect to foods and menus.
And this focus paid off. Even during the times late in my mission when I spent no dedicated study time, I continued learning and using the knowledge that I had already gained, especially around my Taiwanese friends and with respect to foods and menus.
Lesson 2) Adapt, Adapt, Adapt
I failed to meet almost all of my “spoken” Chinese goals, because I surrounded myself with largely English-speaking friends. I recognized this early on, but also recognized that I needed the support of the friends I had made, and was not willing to trade that in for a faster (but more stressful) language-learning experience with non-English speakers.
Instead, I changed my focus from the spoken language to learning about the culture and food and reading menus, since we went out to eat together so often. This resulted in a rich and meaningful and varied experience for me, even if it wasn’t the one I had envisioned.
Instead, I changed my focus from the spoken language to learning about the culture and food and reading menus, since we went out to eat together so often. This resulted in a rich and meaningful and varied experience for me, even if it wasn’t the one I had envisioned.
Lesson 3) Learn From Your Successes... And Your Failures
I almost didn’t carefully look through my original goals at the end of the mission to see why I had failed. I felt like “I’m already this depressed about this… if I dig too deeply I’m going to be even more upset with myself.” I am glad I convinced myself to do so anyway, as it was a treasure-trove of learning about myself and my motivation.
Firstly, I learned that I had succeeded far more than I was giving myself credit for. After looking over my goals again, I recognized that I had shifted focus partway through, but had not realized it or taken it into account. Even so, I managed to accomplish a decent chunk of what I originally set out to do.
Secondly, I recognized in detail the parts that I didn’t accomplish. I am now much more aware of exactly where the gaps are, and how and where I did succeed. When I go back to Chinese learning, I will know where to pick up, and how to go about it.
Firstly, I learned that I had succeeded far more than I was giving myself credit for. After looking over my goals again, I recognized that I had shifted focus partway through, but had not realized it or taken it into account. Even so, I managed to accomplish a decent chunk of what I originally set out to do.
Secondly, I recognized in detail the parts that I didn’t accomplish. I am now much more aware of exactly where the gaps are, and how and where I did succeed. When I go back to Chinese learning, I will know where to pick up, and how to go about it.
Lesson 4) Make SMART Goals
The only reason I was able to regain my feeling of being successful at the end of my mission was that I had a detailed list of original SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-limited) goals to go through and see where I had succeeded and failed.
Without those original goals, I would not have been able to review my progress against those specific metrics, and would have continued feeling frustrated and like I had failed… and wouldn’t have anything to convince myself otherwise. I would have lost much more inertia on studying Chinese and not had the roadmap that I do now, that will allow me to chart a path to success when I start learning Chinese again.
Without those original goals, I would not have been able to review my progress against those specific metrics, and would have continued feeling frustrated and like I had failed… and wouldn’t have anything to convince myself otherwise. I would have lost much more inertia on studying Chinese and not had the roadmap that I do now, that will allow me to chart a path to success when I start learning Chinese again.
Lesson 5) Be Gentle With Yourself
I was hard on myself after those first three weeks, when I felt like a failure and had not yet gone through my original goals in detail and realized how much I had succeeded. It would have been easy at that point to give up and say: “Chinese is too hard,” or “I’m just not good at this.”
Instead, I recognized that I had been working hard, learning a lot even though it felt like a tiny drop in the echoingly-empty bucket of my Chinese language skills. I reminded myself that it’s about the journey as much as the destination, and that I wasn’t “in this to win it,” but rather “in this to live it.”
The final couple of weeks, I gave up dedicated studying entirely, as an entirely new life goal swooped in to take up all of my discretionary time and swept my attentions and intentions away. But more on that later.
Failure is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you should give up… it just teaches you a new way to fail forward.
Instead, I recognized that I had been working hard, learning a lot even though it felt like a tiny drop in the echoingly-empty bucket of my Chinese language skills. I reminded myself that it’s about the journey as much as the destination, and that I wasn’t “in this to win it,” but rather “in this to live it.”
The final couple of weeks, I gave up dedicated studying entirely, as an entirely new life goal swooped in to take up all of my discretionary time and swept my attentions and intentions away. But more on that later.
Failure is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you should give up… it just teaches you a new way to fail forward.
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